Facilitator Diary #1: The insecurity I got tired of complaining about

I’ve been complaining about an insecurity of mine for months, one that quietly held me back and ate at my confidence. I realized I was stuck in the same cycle I often see in the leaders I work with. That’s when I decided to break this pattern by signing up for a public speaking class in NYC.

Most of my work is in English; in fact, I would say that 95% of what I do (designing leadership programs, facilitating workshops, and guiding meetings) happens in a language that isn’t native to me.

I’m from Curaçao, a small island in the Caribbean where most people grow up speaking Dutch, Papiamentu, English, and Spanish. Like many multilingual people, I have an accent. It tells the story of where I come from and the mix of cultures I’m part of. It’s a unique part of my identity and often a great conversation starter. But over the last year, I (once again) became very aware of my accent. Not because I notice it, but because people bring it up all the time. Slowly, it turned into an insecurity.

I began asking myself questions like: Does my accent affect how people perceive me? Will people think I’m dumb? Am I clear enough? Do I sound professional?

Even though I know my skills and expertise are solid, these thoughts started holding me back. Realistically, I know it makes no sense. I’m not a native English speaker and therefore shouldn’t be too hard on myself. But the reality is, I am.

Here’s the interesting part. As a Forum Guide for CircleSpace, I regularly hear leaders share the same challenges month after month. They talk about what’s bothering them, but rarely take action to solve it. That pattern started to feel very familiar; I was caught in the same loop. I complained about my insecurities but didn’t do anything to change the story.

When I heard myself voicing the same doubts once again, I knew I had to make a choice. I could either keep complaining about it or take action. So, I took action and joined a public speaking class.

To me, this class wasn’t just about improving my skills or learning new techniques. It was about practicing what I highlight in my work: noticing the pattern, taking ownership of it, and doing something to shift it.

And now... am I no longer insecure? Obviously not entirely, as the doubt didn’t disappear overnight. But something has shifted; I feel more empowered and better prepared. Now I can start building confidence through the act of doing, not by overthinking.

If there’s something you keep talking or complaining about but haven’t done anything about it yet, ask yourself: What’s one step I can take to shift this? That’s when things start to change and real growth begins.

Awareness, often the hardest one, is the first step!

 Feel free to send me an email at renate@twenty6consultancy.com or drop me a line on LinkedIn if you have any questions!